De higher - de- monkey climb.............(27)

    

 “Yu backward and ‘fool fool,’ and now you mad.” Aunt Mo continued into her patois. “‘Bwai,’ meaning boy: ‘yu chupid’ you are stupid. “ I don’t know what to do ‘wid’ meaning with you. Mi did always tell you.”
    Aunt Mo. raised her hands above the desk and made chopping motions in the air as she indicated the steps as she mimed to her ditty.
   “De higher - de- monkey climb - de- more- he -ex-pose himself.” (The higher the monkey climbs the more he exposes himself.)  Her hand fell flat palmed to the desk in disgust.
   “Prophecy! Prophecy! Prophecy!”  She shakes her head in utter disbelief and makes a strange grunting sound as she clears her throat and nasal passage simultaneously as emotion wells up inside her. Leroy knew it was her way of showing utter disgust. It sounded like coconut being grated. He felt saddened as he anticipated the cloudburst that would be following shortly.    “You disappoint me bad Leroy, you sick me stomach to see how you turn out. What ‘mek’ you so bad, how you can disgrace me so, and do such a nasty thing. In all my years in Hngland I have never heard of a black man running naked on De Street and fighting at the same time. What you trying to get In the Guinness book of record or something eeeei?”    “No mama,” responded Leroy full of remorse more for the condition of Aunt Mo. than anything else.
   “Lord have mercy, what ‘mek’ you so bad and does such a nasty ting. I did ‘have a dream bout you, if  I only did know sooner. Why you turn mad eeeie? Why you do such a dreadful ting? Why you turn mad,” Aunt Mo.
Asked repeatedly as the tears started to fall onto her creased patent plastic handbag.
   “If me did lick some dam sense in you sooner if me only did know, you wouldn't turn out like this and end up in a prison hospital for madness. Yu make de doctors all ask me if it in de blood, this schitsy frenzy (Aunt Mo meant to say schizophrenic) sickness. Ah hot you did hot or what? Why you take off your clothes?” Aunt Mo. Reaches in her bag and removes a hand full of tissues and blows her nose and dabs at her tears.
   “This is Very interesting, very interesting.” Doctor Wells Whispers.  The assistants all nod animatedly in the semi-darkened cubicle. “We will probably need an interpreter of Westindian culture phraseology and patois grammar.” the assistant whispered sitting next to Dr Wells.     “Quite so” The Doctor Confirmed. As he scribbled in his notes the need to employ "the first ever" interpreter for Black Jamiacan English.
   After refreshing herself with a cup of tea and choclate biscuits provided by a nurse, Aunt Mo continued her tirade.    “With you African this and African that, me did know it would catch up with you one day me did know it. Being an English man was just not good for you, you had to be different from all de others, eeeeie, eeeie me talking to you eeeie? Since when you come from Africa, which part of you is African, tell me, or better still don’t badda (bother) talk? Cos I know you are feisty, don’t raise my blood pressure here today..........” Leroy sat motionless and speechless.